'The Amazing Race' recap: Episode 5, 'Uglier Than a Mud Rail Fence'
In Bavaria, they have whimsy. By which, we mean beards and gingerbread
In Detour B, Army couple Rachel and Dave (center) must style the beard to meet the approval of the World Champion Beard Meister to get the next clue. (CBS)
Best Camera Shot of the Week #1
You know how, at some point during the Race, the teams have to drag along a traveling gnome? This is that time. The Roadblock requires one team member to slide the gnome across an ice rink to stop in the center of a bulls-eye target. It’s exactly like curling, except without the brooms. Which is what curling should be, really, because those brooms are just silly. Talk about Quirky How-Did-They-Invent-That Cultural Traditions, am I right, Canada?
The Amazing Camera Crew attached a camera to a gnome so that we can see him spinning around and around the ice. Yay, go spinning gnome!
Best Camera Shot of the Week #2
The Pit Stop is a 200-year-old working farm, and the mat is inside a cow barn. How much did Phil love hanging out with cows all day? The best camera shot is opening the doors into the barn, 20 cows turn their heads simultaneously, all, “Why you gotta keep opening our barn door?” I don’t know if there was more than one cow-head-turn shot or the same one, but I laughed each time.
Rankings? You want rankings?
The challenges this week weren’t terrible, and nobody completely lost their cool. I bet the biggest spread happened when some teams found the right castle on the first try. The Roadblock shook the order up, too, because the Feds spun their gnome down the ice over 180 times and left in last place.
Art and JJ maintained their lead. How? “That’s one of my abilities: I can craft a man’s beard real nice.” Not bad, gentlemen. When they reached the mat in first place for the third time in a row, Phil asks them to withdraw from the Race to give other teams a chance. Hah! I believe that is a reference to the Race winning so many Emmys for Best Reality Show, because I read some grumblings that maybe they should withdraw from the contest. Oh, Phil, I love you. And your eyebrow. And your tolerance of cows.
The Roadblock was down to the Federal Agents and the Southern Cousins. SoCuz finished first, but perhaps not by much. When the Feds finished, they mentioned that they didn’t have trouble navigating so they could probably catch up. How right they were. Last week SoCuz nearly navigated themselves out of the Race. This week they navigated into the back of the pack. Even after they got directions to the Pit Stop they managed to navigate into last place. Sorry, ladies, you and your hot pink lips have been eliminated from the Race.
See you next week, for fire and water and hosing down strangers in a shower!