Next time you're in Hawaii, try climbing a 45-story building
The teams have to ratchet themselves up a rope from the ground to the top of a tower. I think there's some compound pulley action going on (and I pulled that knowledge from my grade-school brain, I think) because it doesn't look like they pull their entire body weight every time. Not that it's easy, because it's a long haul.
After reaching the top, they look around for the next clue location, then they rappel down the building face-first. That's adventure. Adventure that JJ is not a fan of, by the way. He's not into daredevil stuff, so don't even invite him to go bungee jumping with you, he won't do it.
Read the clue! Read the clue!
Team Army and Team BB are at the next Roadblock together -- the men shave ice with samurai swords while the women bond because JJ isn't there. Then they're supposed to walk to a helicopter. Team Army walks, Team BB jumps in a cab and drives to a stadium for some crazy reason. Are they out of the Race?
Art/JJ catch up to -- and pointedly ignore -- BB at the Roadblock. Then they walk to the helicopters. D'oh. All their time wandering in a cab has been made up, because now BB is wandering in a cab.
When they arrive at a locked stadium, Brendon asks Rachel to read the clue again. She does, and he freaks out at the words "on foot." She's like, "don't blame me!" and she shuts down and cries.
BB Rachel is done with this Hawaiian-style Race, yo
BB is back at the place where they can walk to the helicopter. Brendon alights from the cab and starts running, while Rachel just walks. He suggests that she might want to, you know, Race, and she yells that her knees hurt and she throws the Fanny Pack of Precious Race Paraphernalia at him. Then they're up in a helicopter over the lovely Oahu shoreline.
Read the clue! Read the clue! Read the clue!
Team Army has a lead after the helicopter ride. They complete a lifeguard task by driving a wave runner into the ocean to rescue a swimmer. Then they're supposed to go somewhere and follow a marked path. Somehow they follow an unmarked path and find another part of the leg where they're supposed to paddle board. They're paddle-boarding across a lake, and they're running, and they find Phil! At the finish line! With all the other Racers!
Team Army is all hyped up and triumphant. They run up to Phil, and he tells them that they didn't complete a Roadblock. They're all, "What Roadblock, Phil?" It's awesome. Then they run off again. Here I must give props to Army Wife, because she does not cry or melt down or complain about paddle boarding again. She just goes.
You know that thing you're doing? JJ can do it better than you.
Art and JJ, after rescuing a swimmer, have now found the correct marked path before anyone else. This is the final Roadblock, and it is awesome. Ancient Hawaiians invented a sport of sledding down a grassy hill on a very narrow wooden sled. This task requires balance. Art has to take it because JJ did the last Roadblock.
After falling off the sled once, JJ tells the camera that he's more athletic than Art (although he still won't go hang gliding with you so quit asking) and he should be doing the Roadblock. I think he's said this at every Roadblock that he didn't do. How they managed to stay in the Race with Art's inferior skills I do not know.
The rise of Army Wife
While Art is busy falling off a sled, Team Army arrives at the Roadblock. This causes JJ to realize that they were actually in the lead, but Art keeps falling off the sled and now they're not in the lead, and now he's extra snitty.
Army Wife falls of the sled, too, but not as many times as Art. She manages to balance all the way across the finish line. "We're done," mutters JJ. But wait -- the task is not over. Next she has to bowl with a disc-shaped lava rock (in ancient times, warriors used lava discs to break the ankles of their enemies. I didn't make that up -- Phil said it). She bowls while Dave fetches the rocks for her, they argue but she keeps smiling because she can smell victory (and also because she gets to boss Dave around).
At last, Team Army gets back on the paddle boards and heads for Phil for what Army Dave calls their "eighth and a half victory." This time they actually win. Army Wife talks about how nice it was to spend a month with her husband after he'd been gone for a year, and he realizes that she actually likes him. Good job, Team Army.
Did Art ever make it down the hill?
Yes, but only after BB Rachel showed up and beat him to it. She was actually happy for a minute. But then Art completed the sled and beat her at bowling, so then she was sad again and wouldn't run anymore.
Art and JJ come in second place, which they call bittersweet. Team BB are in third place, and they say a lot of buzz words about the amazing experience. Phil asks about forgiveness amongst the teams, and Brendon mans up and says that once the Race is over everyone will just forget about it. I believe that is true, because I heard that Team BB went out clubbing with Bopper this past week.
However satisfied (or not) you were with the ending, I hope you had fun. As far as final legs go, this was unpredictable and full of mistakes, which makes for a good time. Now I hope you all take a moment and pretend to go clubbing with Bopper, too. Thanks for reading!
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Host Phil Keoghan (right) speaks with Army couple Rachel and Dave. (Monty Brinton, CBS)