By Meghan Welsh
11:40 PM EDT, March 15, 2012
We have finally come to the end of the journey that has taken us to Miami, Florence and most important, Seaside Heights. Tonight is the "Jersey Shore" finale -- more than likely the last episode ever. I wish I had a little more enthusiasm for the end of the show, but I was disappointed that this summer at the shore house lacked excitement and drama. Let's see if the finale left a good taste in my mouth.
The camp crew returns to the house to find out that Vinny and Pauly have rearranged the entire house. Mike, of course, whines like a baby because his Ed Hardy T-shirt collection was mishandled. He left his things outside to get wet while everyone else brought their things back in. I enjoyed Snooki's new name for him: "The Bitchuation."
Deena's sister and Mike's brother are still dating. Mike found out a dirty little secret about their relationship -- and it involves inappropriate moisture. That is not something that you want to hear about a sibling ... Ew.
Vinny has an obsession -- with lesbians. We'll get back to that later.
Snooki of course tells Deena that Mike made a comment about her sister's sexual "talent." Deena of course gets offended because, well, that's just not something you ever want to hear about your sister. Seriously.
Vinny ends up bringing a pair of lesbians home, as he has made it his goal to hook up with them, regardless of whether one of them looks like Matthew McConaughey (according to Ronnie). He gets some time in the Smush Room, which has become Ron and Sam's new bedroom for the remainder of their stay.
Mike is such a horrible liar! He runs his mouth and pulls these incredible stories out of his ass. He tells Deena that Snooki must have overheard him discussing her sister's sexual moisture with Unit on the phone, when we all just witnessed him tell Snooki while having a beverage at Spicy. What a clown.
It's the last night in the house, and Seaside Heights is being pummeled by a horrendous storm. Deena has a mini panic attack and threatens to drive away. Because that's smart.
Dance Party/Jersey Turnpike Central is Karma (of course). The gang gets it in one last time before they head back to their hometown clubs to do the exact same things that they did this summer: get wasted and hook up with randoms.
Deena really will not let this whole thing with her sister go. Yes, the thing that Mike was told probably shouldn't have been spread around, but calling attention to it is just going to cause unnecessary issues. Stop craving attention, you diva!
Sammi and Deena think that they have a great idea to get the guys back for their prank: By pelting them with water balloons. They fill them up in anticipation of an evening battle. Water balloon fights are so second-grade, y'all.
At the final Sunday dinner, the crew reminisces on all of the highlights of the past five seasons of the show. This year's most cherished experience was that no one had to deal with a single Ron and Sam altercation. Yay!
The girls succeed at getting a few blows on the guys with the water balloons. However, it backfires when the guys lock the girls out, then retaliate with their own water balloons and water guns.
The end of the episode was ironic, as Snooki said goodbye to the household items as if she would be returning to use them again next summer. I don't think that 1209 Ocean Terrace is a great place for a baby to toddle around in. Just my opinion.
It's time for us to say goodbye to all our company - J-E-R... S-E-Y... S-H-O-R-E.
This season of "Jersey Shore" hasn't been as exciting or drama-filled as previous years, but it's been interesting nonetheless. Thanks for checking in with me weekly to recap this season, which will most definitely be the end of "Jersey Shore" as we know it, if not forever.