By L'Oreal Thompson
9:45 PM EDT, October 4, 2012
Well, thank you "Glee," for being utterly depressing today. Le sigh. Where's a Kleenex when you need one? So, alas, this is the break up episode, where one...if not more...of our beloved "Glee" couples is going to break up.
Up first, we have Blaine and Kurt. Blaine, who's still in Ohio, is terribly missing Kurt, who's in New York. And as one half of a long-distance relationship (or LDRs, as they're known on the streets), I can honestly tell you it sucks–the distance, not the relationship. Basically, Kurt doesn't have time for Blaine and Blaine has had enough.
Moving on, Finchel's back together in New York. Bleh. We left off last episode with Finn totally interrupting Rachel's makeout session with Brody. Boo, Finn! We learn that Finn was semi-dishonorably discharged from the Army for accidentally shooting himself in the thigh with his rifle, which he named Rachel. We should've known Finn would do something like that...did we not notice how uncoordinated he was in the show choir room? Ugh! And Rachel, always one to want to help Finn, feels the need to help him figure out his life. Just step away slowly, Rachel. You're doing too much!
Meanwhile, back in Ohio, Santana is back. Oh, how I'm missed my girl crush! She says likes being in college and being a cheerleader and she comes back to Lima to do laundry so she can see Brittany. Side note: apparently Brittany joined the "Left Behind" club at school, which is headed up by Kitty, who is basically the not-so-cute version of Quinn (chastity club, anybody?).
Next we have Blaine and Finn simultaneously singing "Barely Breathing" in different states. In other news, Finn still can't sing. Blaine, in a fit of loneliness, hit up this random guy (sadly, not Sebastian from season three). This cannot be good! He ends up in New York with the rest of the gang at this bar where Rachel and Brody sing Demi Lovato's "Give Your Heart a Break," which I love. And I thoroughly enjoyed their rendition.
Blaine, however, sings a rather sad version of Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" with piano accompaniment. Of course, I like it better than the original and I even like it more than the version Blaine sang back when he was with the Warblers. Boy, those were the days!
Later, Blaine confesses he had a thing with this Eli kid. Cheating is never the answer, people! Finn accuses Rachel of having a thing with Brody. And basically everony ends up singing No Doubt's "Don't Speak," another one of my faves.
Finn leaves without saying goodbye and returns to William McKinley High School, where Mr. Schu is waiting for him with open arms. Back in the choir room, Mr. Schu asks the glee club kids for ideas for which musical they should perform. Finn suggests "Grease," which I have to admit, is pretty awesome. This could be fun!
At the Pillsbury-Schuester residence, Mr. Schu finds out he's officially on the blue ribbon panel, which means he needs to go to Washington, D.C. for about a three-month stint. He asks Emma to come with him...for the entire time. And Ms. Pillsbury is not having it. She doesn't want to leave her job, which she loves, to follow him halfway across the country. And I commend her for that. You go, Emma!
When Rachel can't find Finn, she hops on a plane (how did she afford that, by the way, does she even have a job?!) and tracks him down at the WMHS auditorium, which is apparently their Jerusalem, according to Rachel. And, finally, she lets Finn have it!
She hated him for leaving her at the train station. But she thought he was being a man because he loved her and blah blah blah. Finn was her first love and she wants him to be her last, but she's done for now. And I don't blame her. Now Finn is depressed because he's lost everything–his job, his girl. Finn is officially losing.
Oh, Santana and Brittany broke up, too! After Santana serenaded Brittany with Taylor Swift's "Mine," which was very appropriate. But then she confessed she had an "energy exchange" with a Virginia Woolf fan at her school. Then Santana tells Brittany she doesn't want to be in a long-distance relationship because they're "impossible to maintain." She says it's not a breakup, but...I'm pretty sure.
So everyone joins in a pretty somber rendition of Coldplay's "The Scientist" and it's pretty depressing, albeit the perfect conlusion to the show.
And that's it for now. It's playoff time, everyone, so I'll see you Nov. 8. Go O's!